No longer sleeping together (co-sleeping)
For 26 months, we co-slept with #JasperBean and it worked for us. In the beginning, in order to get him to fall asleep I would have to hold him. That slowly transitioned to holding hands and then pretending to sleep to lull him in. I was a master at getting him to sleep and I had no problems with it. I gradually let him have his daytime naps in his cotbed sleeping alone and hadn’t had any issues with this. No power struggle, no tears or kicking up a fuss as long as he knew I was in the room with him. Night time was different. He slept with us throughout the night and he needed me there to fall asleep, maybe because it’s pitch black or dependence and he just needed some presence. I never once attempted to leave him in bed alone, I thought that after a long day at work, I didn’t need anymore work, I just wanted to get it done and rest. I also wasn’t keen on any of the sleep training methods. So I slept with him, until he fell asleep and then I would retreat and do my own thing for 2 hours or so before joining him in bed again. After 2+ years, I can finally say I’ve put an end to this.
It was much easier than I thought
Today marks the 55th night that #JasperBean has slept by himself in his own bed, in his own room. 2 months ago, I made him some tension rod blackout curtains and something at the back of my mind told me that he’s ready to sleep by himself. So I tucked him in bed, gave him a cuddle and kiss and told him mummy has a lot of things to do, so he needs to be a good boy and sleep while mummy goes and finishes her work. I told him I’ll be back later and said goodnight. That first night, he got up after 5 minutes. I went back to put him back down and said goodnight, left and watched him on the baby monitor. Turns out he fell asleep 10 minutes later. The second, third, fourth night and so on was merely just cuddle, kiss and a goodnight. That was all it took. My baby has reached another one of his milestones.
I Miss You
Sometimes at night, when I wake up and can’t find him next to me, I must admit I do miss his tiny hands stroking my face or the sound of his breathing lulling me into another dream. I miss waking up to his sweet sleepy face or murmurs of “mummy mummy”. However I understand that he is growing up and he needs his space and independence from us. In order to help him sleep independently, I read endless posts, books and articles. Who knew that he would take to sleeping on his own like a duck to water? This maybe one of his many steps to independence and I know one day, he will have his own life. Perhaps we will no longer live under the same roof, therefore I want to cherish our time together. Having said that, I would really appreciate it if you can sleep from night to morning without waking or crying for me. 🙂
Don’t stress. Everything will fall into place, you just have to be patient.
Many of you may question why we co-slept for so long, and you can read about it here. Personally I’m not a fan of the cry it out (CIO) method and I know there are any more out there to help children sleep alone, but I count my graces that we were able to transition so easily.
Sleep experts have pointed out many benefits to co-sleeping and solitary sleeping and as every child is unique in their own way, there is no point chasing a particular method. Sometimes the plan we had in mind might just not go according to plan. So don’t stress about it. I can’t explain why #JasperBean was able to sleep by himself so easily after such a long period of co-sleeping. Maybe that something at the back of my mind 2 months ago was a sign from God. I don’t regret co-sleeping or letting him stay with us for more than 2 years.
So if you co-sleep, don’t worry. Everything will be ok. I mean, how likely will they want to be sleeping in the same room as you when they grow up?
Thanks for reading and until next time…
Love, MsMamaBean x
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