No longer sleeping together (co-sleeping)

For 26 months, we co-slept with #JasperBean and it worked for us. In the beginning, in order to get him to fall asleep I would have to hold him. That slowly transitioned to holding hands and then pretending to sleep to lull him in. I was a master at getting him to sleep and I had no problems with it. I gradually let him have his daytime naps in his cotbed sleeping alone and hadn’t had any issues with this. No power struggle, no tears or kicking up a fuss as long as he knew I was in the room with him. Night time was different. He slept with us throughout the night and he needed me there to fall asleep, maybe because it’s pitch black or dependence and he just needed some presence. I never once attempted to leave him in bed alone, I thought that after a long day at work, I didn’t need anymore work, I just wanted to get it done and rest. I also wasn’t keen on any of the sleep training methods. So I slept with him, until he fell asleep and then I would retreat and do my own thing for 2 hours or so before joining him in bed again. After 2+ years, I can finally say I’ve put an end to this.

It was much easier than I thought

Today marks the 55th night that #JasperBean has slept by himself in his own bed, in his own room. 2 months ago, I made him some tension rod blackout curtains and something at the back of my mind told me that he’s ready to sleep by himself. So I tucked him in bed, gave him a cuddle and kiss and told him mummy has a lot of things to do, so he needs to be a good boy and sleep while mummy goes and finishes her work. I told him I’ll be back later and said goodnight. That first night, he got up after 5 minutes. I went back to put him back down and said goodnight, left and watched him on the baby monitor. Turns out he fell asleep 10 minutes later. The second, third, fourth night and so on was merely just cuddle, kiss and a goodnight. That was all it took. My baby has reached another one of his milestones.


I Miss You

Sometimes at night, when I wake up and can’t find him next to me, I must admit I do miss his tiny hands stroking my face or the sound of his breathing lulling me into another dream. I miss waking up to his sweet sleepy face or murmurs of “mummy mummy”. However I understand that he is growing up and he needs his space and independence from us. In order to help him sleep independently, I read endless posts, books and articles. Who knew that he would take to sleeping on his own like a duck to water? This maybe one of his many steps to independence and I know one day, he will have his own life. Perhaps we will no longer live under the same roof, therefore I want to cherish our time together. Having said that, I would really appreciate it if you can sleep from night to morning without waking or crying for me. 🙂

Don’t stress. Everything will fall into place, you just have to be patient.

Many of you may question why we co-slept for so long, and you can read about it here. Personally I’m not a fan of the cry it out (CIO) method and I know there are any more out there to help children sleep alone, but I count my graces that we were able to transition so easily.

Sleep experts have pointed out many benefits to co-sleeping and solitary sleeping and as every child is unique in their own way, there is no point chasing a particular method. Sometimes the plan we had in mind might just not go according to plan. So don’t stress about it. I can’t explain why #JasperBean was able to sleep by himself so easily after such a long period of co-sleeping. Maybe that something at the back of my mind 2 months ago was a sign from God. I don’t regret co-sleeping or letting him stay with us for more than 2 years.

So if you co-sleep, don’t worry. Everything will be ok. I mean, how likely will they want to be sleeping in the same room as you when they grow up?

Thanks for reading and until next time…

Love, MsMamaBean x


This post is linked up to the following linkys:

Sticky Mud and Belly Laughs

28 comments

  1. placeinthisworld247

    I’m glad that your child now is able to sleep alone and that the transition was smooth.

    Reply

  2. Amanda Ripsam

    Co sleeping is something we only did when my daughter was very little and newborn then she moved to her own bed and does not sleep with us unless she having a rough time sleeping like night mares or she was sick other wise we had her in her own bed. I hope the transition continues to go smooth for you

    Reply

  3. The Crumby Vegan

    That’s lovely to hear that it went so smoothly for you and you’re embracing his independence so well. No wonder he is doing so well, you sound like a fantastic mum 💚

    Reply

  4. Beth Davidson

    My son never slept in my bed all night, and he got really crazy with the kicking and whatnot at about one, so none of us ever slept well if he wanted in. But I just had a baby girl and she’s so cuddly! I know it’s going to be much harder to put her in her own room, I just know it.

    Reply

    1. MsMamaBean

      Completely understand! My little boy was a kicker too and we literally slept on the edge of the bed! Lol but looking back, even with all that “abuse” in bed, I still miss it.

      Reply

  5. thefirstexplorer

    Glad to know there are others who do extended co-sleeping! I am ready for my LO to sleep through the night too, at lest most of the time. I am tired and I know I will be more so once school starts again. Thanks for your encouraging post!

    Reply

    1. MsMamaBean

      Sorry to hear that you are tired, hope it works out for you. X

      Reply

  6. ontherytepaige

    It’s interesting to hear what works for others. My parents were actually against co-sleeping, but one of my childhood friends did so until she was like 10, different things for different people!

    Reply

    1. MsMamaBean

      Whatever method works for them is the right method. 😊

      Reply

  7. Jasmyne Nguyen

    Im super glad that the transition went smooth. Most of the time it doesn’t

    Reply

    1. MsMamaBean

      I’m so grateful that he didn’t put up that much of a fight ☺️ so now as long as he stays in his own bed, I’m happy.

      Reply

  8. Christie Moeller

    Congrats on this next stage of parenthood! So much fun to come!

    xoxo Christie
    http://icanstyleu.com/blog/

    Reply

    1. MsMamaBean

      Thanks Christie! I can’t wait to see what comes next!

      Reply

  9. Ginger Smith

    Glad it went well! I love learning about different parenting techniques. I’m store them all in my head for the future, lol.

    Reply

  10. Susan Colgan

    Aw I am delighted your baby is able to sleep alone and that the transition went smoothly, keep up the fantastic work x

    Reply

  11. Shell

    So glad this transition went well for you!

    Reply

  12. Lynn Woods

    I so need to send this to my sister. Her daughter is one and still sleeps with them. She’s also still breastfeeding!!

    Reply

    1. MsMamaBean

      There’s no rush, my was is over 2 and just started sleeping alone and he was breastfed until over a year too… co-sleeping makes feeding so much easier too 😊. In their own time x

      Reply

  13. Lifestyle Hunter

    Such a nice post! It’s so good to receive all this advice to prepare when I have children! Thanks for sharing! 😀
    xoxo,
    Pilar

    Reply

  14. Natalija Nati

    It’s so cute to hear all of this, I still haven’t experienced having a baby, but it for sure looks so adorable <3

    Reply

  15. Gillie

    Whatever your choice about co sleeping or not, having a routine that you do every night without fail is what the kids need to go to sleep.

    Reply

    1. MsMamaBean

      Absolutely agree! Having a routine is so important.

      Reply

  16. Ophelia Tang

    I really like your post. I am so glade your baby is able to sleep by himself now. Thanks for sharing you experiences with us.

    Reply

  17. Nyxloves

    I enjoy co-sleeping with my LO. Having a routine and being patient is the key in early few years of motherhood…Loved this post!

    Reply

    1. MsMamaBean

      Thank you! I loved co-sleeping too and agree that routine and patience is very important. I must admit that patience is still something I’m working on 😅

      Reply

  18. Jaclyn

    I just wanted to let you know I nominated you for the Blogger Recognition Award 🙂
    https://momathrift.com/blogger-recognition-award/

    Reply

  19. Jayne (@SMABLblog)

    Aw, lovely to hear the transition went well. They grow up so quickly!

    Thanks so much for sharing with #MMBC. Hope to see you Monday x

    Reply

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